My 4th Mother's Day

It seems like yesterday when I celebrated my first Mother's Day, six months after giving birth to my son. Now, it's my fourth. And it always felt even better than celebrating my birthday. Maybe that's because when I celebrate Mother's Day, I always celebrate it with my son. It's like a "mother and son" day. And rightfully so, since without my son, I would not have been a mother. It's amazing how motherhood changes you. Your hormones raging like a teenager -- all whacked-up and uncontrolled, your weight more difficult to manage than ever, your emotions more unpredictable than the weather, your patience tried every minute, makes you irritable and grumpy at times -- many times.. and yet, we mothers know that a simple, innocent and sweet smile from our children makes all those worries and anxieties go away. And somehow, all of a sudden, you don't really care how fat you are or how tired you are chasing your kid the entire day or even how you lose sleep every night making formula for your baby. All you care about is getting that feeling, that certain "high" that nobody else can ever give you, that no amount of promotion, reputation or monetary reward could ever duplicate. And yes, all of a sudden you realize there is meaning to your existence in this world after all. I am blessed. Very blessed. Not all mothers have the luxury of being with their children 24/7. Most mothers are compelled to work all in the interest of their children's future, of course. And I salute those moms. It takes a determined and strong mom to do it everyday. It's heartbreaking to leave a crying child, begging you to stay forever at his side. I remember when I used to work, everyday is a struggle. It would take me almost an hour just saying goodbye. It's never easy.

I thank God for the gift of motherhood. It made me the person that I am today. It may not have made me perfect but it gave meaning to my life. A lot of people go through their lives trying to make sense out of it. Hence the songs like "What's this life for?..". I'm happy to know that I know what my life is for. All I wish is that when my son grows up, he would remember how much I loved him and how having him made living in this crazy world worthwhile and fulfilling.

This is also a tribute to my mom. For all the love and support, for all the pain she endured for us, for all the lessons she taught us, for all the patience she had, for all the understanding she willingly gave us, and for all the time of her life that she spent choosing to do what's good for us over what's good for herself, no amount of words or flowers can ever compensate her.